For me it kind of was the opposite haha. Had them tuned to the same pitch in almost all possible ways, but now I tuned the reso head quiet a bit higher and after that the resonance was insane. Before that it felt like the drum was chocked and could not „breath“. Now the sound is really round, warm and clear.
I have done matched tuning for a while. But, I remember when I was at DCP someone brought in a floor tom for Tony to tune and I was actually amazed at what happened to the sound of the drum as he tuned the bottom head tighter a couple of times. The tension on the bottom head does NOT (as you have just articulated) affect the drum sound in the way you would think. I have also had some really killer bass drum sounds with a relatively taut reso head. I can't wait to get my drums back to their home so I can work on them. I have done virtually no dialing in, yet.
It's an interesting insight Jules, personally Tony's floor tom tuning is the one reliably average sound I don't like in their videos. I cannot stand the pitch change as the note tails off... 
To each their own!
I do matched tuning. I was intrigued by the sound, not sold on it. 
Have you guys seen this book:
https://www.drumacoustics.com/
That guy literally did a PhD in drum sound acoustics, and wrote a book about the subject. He also created the iDrumTune Pro app for iOS (and Android too I think). I bought his book and it's VERY eye-opening. I have zero affiliation with him, but learned quite a bit from going through the first half of the book so far.